I had started going to “Men at Peace” almost 15 years ago. I decided at that 1st meeting that it was too far to drive and I could deal with my anger issue by using my own self control. Well about 3 years later my anger dealt with me because I did not take responsibility for my self and commit. After serving some time, several court cases, several thousands of dollars and almost losing someone I loved very much, I did commit and attend “Men at Peace” and did the time with a few other guys that helped me to mature into a much more content and peaceful man. The difference is there are others who have been there who will help me and who shore me up and hold me accountable and really care. Thank You “Men at Peace” for who you are and your willingness to help others like myself.
Dave in CA
“My name is Dan and I am responsible for my actions…”
This is how we start out each “Men at Peace” meeting. Saying this enforces in our minds that we are responsible for what we do. And, we ask for time if we want to share what is on our mind. Most of the time simply listening to others is healing in itself. We are all created uniquely and we all have different levels of talent. It is important to remember this along the journey of life. We do not “know it all,” nor will we ever but we can let others help us learn and grow.
“Men At Peace” helps me get through a difficult week. We share with each other what may not be comfortably shared even with significant others. We have grown to be a group of brothers who support one another. These are things I have learned and am grateful for the opportunity to be involved in this group. We are always ready to accept others.
Dan in MI.
I have for many years had an anger problem which has manifested on and off over the 20 years of marriage (more so since the kids came along) as depression and rage. Symptoms have manifested in behaviors like . . . having unreasonable expectations for loved ones, blaming the situation or others for my mistakes, impatience, making a scene in public, threats, and belligerence. Mostly, my behavior was hidden from friends and work, but I found out after the fact there was some residual impact.
My wife and the kids have seen me at my worst, and despite several years of counseling and 2 years of accountability and mentoring from some church friends, my wife asked me to leave the house. While I was devastated initially, God put it upon my heart to not fight her need for some space. During the time away I had the time to reflect, pray, meet with trusted friends, and start attending a group called“Men at Peace”. When I began to attend “Men at Peace”, the underlying principle seemed simple, yet profound.
” I am responsible for my thoughts, feelings, actions and behaviors.”
We acknowledge that there will always be circumstances that provoke, bait, cajole, tempt, push, pull, drive, etc, us to a particular behavior, including issues from our past, however we learn that we cannot control others, only ourselves. The techniques learned through “Men at Peace”, joined by a deeper spiritual walk, have had a profound impact on my life.
Much healing has taken place between my wife and myself, and between the kids and me, yet the road will be life long. It has impacted areas of my life I never knew’ at the time, and arguably, on more subtle levels, some of my employment relationships as well. God loves us more than we can ever imagine, and because of that love (which includes free will) allows us pain and natural consequences so we can ultimately come to Him and leave all of our baggage at the foot of the cross. That said, “God cannot use a person mightily who He has not hurt deeply.” While I cannot and don’t blame God for these circumstances, His perfect will knows and allows this suffering for His purpose and glory.
It would have been easy to give up and walk out . . . I thank my friends and family for the love and guidance before, during and after the “event” for helping me make the right choice. And for you . . . peace awaits! Nothing, ever again, will rob me of my peace. You too can experience peace.
Joe in CA
I remember so well the first time I attended the “Men at Peace” group. I was there because my minister in a conversation said, “When are you going to deal with your anger. You have destroyed one marriage and about to do it again”. This stunned me so much that I listened when he told me about “Men at Peace” and suggested that I attend and requested that if I did that I attend at least four (4) meetings.
I remember well going to the first meeting wondering just what will happen. I was sure that my life was unique and no one could understand my anger. I walked out of that meeting knowing not only that this was a group of men that understood what I was dealing with but that was a brotherhood of men that could change my life. It did! That was over ten (10) years ago.
Anoymous in CA