1) Low self esteem

2) Difficulty trusting

3) Inability to take care of themselves or nurture others emotionally

4) Fear loss of control over spouse or partner

5) Out of touch with feelings other than anger

6) Hold in emotions

7) Cannot talk about feelings

8) Not assertive in asking for what they need or want 

9) Often appear to have dual personalities

10) Are rigid in their thinking

11) Are jealous of their partner often without reason

12) Blame others for their problems or behavior

13) Are un-responsible

14) Do not handle stress well

15) Are socially isolated and have few friends-may have no CLOSE friends

16) Believe that they have the job of disciplining their partner

17) They are traditional and conservative in their thinking and actions and values

18) Believe that the man should RULE the home like a king in her castle

19) Comes from families where one or more parent was alcoholic

20) Were abused as children

21) Witnessed violence between their parents

22) Grew up believing it was their job to keep peace in the home

23) Have unrealistic expectations from a marriage

24) Believe that if a marriage does not work it is the woman’s fault

25) Want their partner to be the one who meets all their needs

26) Withdraw or become controlling under stress

27) Have a drinking problem or are highly likely to develop one

28) Use violence or intimidation to solve conflicts

29) May appear passive but turn aggressive if unable to avoid conflict

30) Use sex as an act of aggression

31) Use sexist language to and bout their partner

32) Have few or no shoulders to cry on except their partners

33) Have a “black or white” view of life

34) Minimize or deny their violence

35) Do not believe they should be held responsible for their violence

36) Believe their violence is provoked by what someone else does

37) Often do not handle money well

38) Will buy things without planning on how to pay for them

39) Are well loved at the office and turn mean at home

40) Do not empathize with others

41) Are often hateful of minorities

42) Talk about sex as if it were a game or a mechanical act

43) Talk about solving social problems by using violent solutions

44) Are full of self hate

45) May be a dotting father

46) Believe that all women are the same

47) Have buddies but are not really intimate with them

48) May be victims of sexual abuse as a child

49) Fly off the handle easily

50) Come from every racial, ethnic, social and educational group